Saving The World, Before Bedroom Time
by Blanqueraq
Summary: A humorous take on the sadly real world problems faced by a superhero and his girl.  Videl has such a kind and compassionate heart.  Slight, very slight crack, and some very definite citrus.


_Saving The World…Before Bedroom Time _(2213)

"Gohan? Gohan? Why in the hell did you _stop_?" Digging her fingers into his shoulder, Videl tried to glare through the sexual haze that was severely hampering her good judgment, but as it happened all she could come up with was an upset tilt to her eyebrows. She was feeling a mean temper tantrum coming on and it was looking for a crotch to kick.

Gohan had stopped - stopped, _dammit_ - mid plunge and was staring intently at the wall above her head. She could feel the muscles in his back, arms vibrating with how taunt they were, and stared, a little shocked at the sweat rapidly streaming down his chest and face.

His lips were pulled back off his teeth, and Videl wondered if it was normal that she felt even wetter at the sight than she did two minutes ago. She bit her lip and turned her head slightly in embarrassment. She kind of hoped he didn't notice.

"Gohan, what -"

"Be quiet. Please. For just. A. Second."

Scowling, Videl lifted an eyebrow, a very unhappy puff of air escaping her nose. It was hard trying to summon the appropriate surge of anger when every inch of her was tingling and Gohan was shoved about halfway inside her happy place. He kept twitching too, and the way his weight was settled pressed firmly against her clit.

Videl was afraid if she moved even a little she'd up and climax. Her face flushed worse at the thought. How humiliating after five minutes of foreplay and about two minutes in actual coitus. Biting her lip again, she attempted to push him closer with her legs, but found it about as easy as running head first into a brick wall. He didn't even acknowledge her attempts.

She gave an exasperated roll of her eyes. With the frozen look still plastered on his face, Videl decided it was time to change tactics, because apparently her bitching hadn't worked - which was kind of a surprise really.

Softening her features, she nuzzled in close, rubbing her breasts against his chest and rocking her hips a little. She had to grip at his hair to keep from slipping off - she was so damn _wet_…!

"Gohan," she purred, licking a path up his face to his lips. She kissed him softly a couple times. "Gohan, c'mon…I'm _aching_ here!"

She could feel his chest rapidly expanding and contracting with his breaths, something that made her smile as she continued working at his stiff face and hard body. It took a few minutes but eventually he relented enough to open his mouth and kiss her back. His fingers, previously fisting the blanket, decided to unclench themselves and rewrap around her hip, as he slid the rest of his (cough) considerable length inside missus happy place.

Sighing out a moan, Videl thanked that heavenly green guy for granting all women their missus happy place.

About three minutes later he stopped - _again_. "Fucking HFIL Gohan, do you want me to beg?" Thighs clamped tight about his hips, heel digging into his lower back, Videl knew she was red as a cherry all the way down to her stomach but felt she had every damn right to be considering her position. Under Gohan and him. Not. Moving…!

"Videl I -"

"Gohan, I don't care about whatever stupid reason you have for pulling this shit, but get over it fast or I'm having my period for the next two months!"

The look on his face would've made her cackle with amusement at any other time, but at the moment she found very little funny with the situation. Her body was on fire, her legs felt like Jell-O and he was so hard it was starting to hurt _her_.

Still, the half retarded look of need mixed with blind terror would remain to tickle her funny bone at a later date. When his dick wasn't currently pressed up against her womb.

"Gohan…" she growled, quite done with purring, as she pulled meanly on the short hairs at the back of his neck. "_Gohan_."

"Videl, there's -"

"What? What is the damn problem?"

She supposed she deserved what he did next considering how many times she'd cut him off while they were _trying_ to have sex, however he really didn't need to be so forceful.

Even if it did get her hot. Kind of.

Jerking his body forward faster than she could readily perceive, and placing himself at the absolute perfect angle to have her arching back and screaming, he came nose to nose with her face. He looked almost disturbingly fierce, his pupils dilating the already pitch color of his irises. She wanted to cum and puddle into a pile of goo at the same time.

"There is a monomaniacal monster currently destroying the lower half of South city and instead of firing a kamehameha up his ass, I'm here trying to force myself to stop. Fucking. You."

Videl felt her eyes flutter and had to suck in a deep breath to keep from shattering into a million pieces at his words. Freaking stupid universe and its dumb attention seeking overlords. Gohan was fucking her people! It was a sacred moment, she sobbed somewhere in her sex addled mind.

Whimpering, she was about to slide out from under him when he slammed a palm down next to her shoulder, effectively caging her in. She felt the bed shudder with the force of his hit.

Wide eyed, she stared at his arm for a second before turning to look at his face. She really wasn't up for deducing things clearly right now.

"No, no," he smiled that sweet little crooked smile she loved so much, "noooo, after all that Videl - including lying to my mother, locking the wonder twins in the gravity room with Vegeta, and scaring your dad out of the house - we are _going_ to finish this." Actually, she swallowed over a sudden lump of lust and nerves, Videl thought his smile was kind of scary all of a sudden.

She watched as his gaze darted toward the far wall before his eyebrow went and twitched. "We'll just have to make it fast…"

Blinking stupidly at him, Videl felt him start to move, though to be honest she didn't feel it all, just the friction his movements made. His body temperature jumped and something electric had gone zinging along his skin, zapping at every place they touched. She was practically vibrating.

Scratch that - she was definitely vibrating.

"Oh god," she murmured, his body so close she could hardly breath. His hand had found her breast and was currently squeezing it with every thrust, his thumb softly flicking her nipple. It was like setting her little pleasure toy to max and adding, well, Gohan to the mix.

…Actually this was way better than mister binky.

"Don't even, _huff_, bring that, _huff_, little green shit with a god-complex, _damn_, into this."

Nodding dumbly, Videl slid a hand down to grab at his ass, while the other buried itself in his hair, yanking him down into a sloppy, need filled kiss. There was probably a little too much saliva, but he seemed more than content to have her suck on his tongue anyway.

He kept up the nerve pumping pace until Videl could pretty much taste his superhumaness sliding down her throat. The caps of her teeth felt electrified.

Nipping at her lips, Gohan muttered something incomprehensible before sliding his empty hand down her stomach. Where his thumb got a little friendly with her clit.

"Oh shit, oh shit, Gohan, fuck, Gohan, uwahh - _I wanna have your babies!"_

_Idiot._

Clamped down like a vice around him, she could feel the rumble of his growl clear to her toes and before she even realized gravity still existed and the world _hadn't_ exploded, Videl was bent on her hands and knees. Gohan still jack hammering away, his hand fisted in the short locks of her hair as he fucked the rest of his way through her climax.

When he finally came his roar pretty much deafened her.

She was still flopped on her stomach, half way off the bed ten minutes later. About nine minutes and forty five seconds after Gohan had kissed her neck, pulled up his pants, tugged on his shirt and been hopping out the window with one boot half on. Singing to the tune of 'Love you babe, I'll come by after its dead,' and 'you wouldn't mind ordering out, would you?'

Right, like she could form words let alone summon the energy to pick up the phone.

What the hell was he hungry for anyway?

Grinning to herself, Videl silently added, _besides her_.

"So that's when Gohan, literally, fired a Kamehameha up it's ass and fried the bastard!"

Apparently, Videl mused with an eye roll, her house was the gathering place this time because Gohan had a big mouth and she was just too nice for her own good. Shooting a glare at him as she handed out the last burger, she hoped he thanked his lucky stars she'd thought ahead and ordered enough fast food for an army.

It seemed with age Trunks and Goten only doubled their stomach size.

Krillen, who'd been regaling them with a much condensed version of Gohan's exploits, continued doing so between bites. His daughter, wide eyed and hanging on every word, swung her legs from her perch on one of the fold out chairs Videl had to hunt high and low for.

She hadn't realized how big the little girl'd become. Settling herself in next to Gohan, she wondered when five years had passed and stretched the boys out to sulky - yet still devilish teens and the older crowd into a more complacent group of fighters.

Except when it came to food, she looked on in disgusted fascination.

Picking at her burger, she didn't start listening again until another voice interjected.

"So," Vegeta grated from the corner, "explain why it took you longer than usual to get there, boy."

Videl could feel her expression twisting with incredulity. Seriously, the asshole noticed maybe ten extra seconds?

With his stupid trademark grin in place, Gohan shoved another six french-fries in his mouth. At the same time. "Well," he mumbled around his food, "I was kinda in the middle of something."

_Yeah, me._

Carelessly, Videl pried open her burger and pulled off the pickles. She'd never liked them anyway. It was another few minutes of easy banter, before Gohan turned his attention back to her.

"You gunna eat those?"

She sighed and managed an affectionate smile while the others went on talking and arguing. Maybe the guy had a bottomless pit, but she still loved him anyway. "Yeah, sure, here."

Scooping up the couple pickles she held them out, waiting for him to grab them and probably dip them in ketchup or barbeque sauce or something. Besides doing her, Gohan's favorite pastime seemed to be stuffing his face.

"Thanks."

He didn't grab them. Instead, for the whole group to see, including his _mother_, he brought her hand to his mouth, nipped up the pickles and licked her fingers of any residual ketchup and mustard.

Videl wanted to melt into the carpet right there, she was so mortified.

Ripping her hand free, and choosing to ignore the raised eyebrows and stifled laughter - along with the sly half smile Gohan was giving her - she growled out of the corner of her lips. "I thought we weren't going to mention anything until New Years. You _jerk_."

"New Years, right now, I don't see the difference."

Her mouth clenched, Videl stood abruptly and amidst the boys kissy faced teasing and his mother's sobs of joy, stalked out of the room. She could feel Gohan's look of concern on the back of her neck.

Oh, no, if there was anyone he should be concerned about, it was himself.

"_You know Gohan, I think I just felt my period come on!"_

A/N - lmfao. I have no idea where this came from other than an ice breaker to this debilitating case of writers block I've had recently. Among other things like personal change and upheaval, I've been working a lot more. Ah, but other than that - I was just thinking how when you consider the number of times something attacks the planet, one of the Z senshi, somewhere has to be busy getting down. I mean, c'mon, its merely odds people.

So I made Gohan be that person and I gotta say I laughed so hard writing it I almost snorted out my peanut butter cap'n crunch.

The line that gets me the most? _"- I wanna have your babies!" _I just about peed myself. Anyway hopefully this break will allow me to continue work on my other story. I have part of the second draft done, but I'm stalling cause the tonality is different from the first chapter. More Gohan centric POV and its annoying considering the more third person view in the previous chapter.

Well, anyway, I hope you got a kick out of this. As always, please Review!


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